HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS VS. UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Healthy Relationships

All healthy relationships are formed upon transparent communication and mutually determined boundaries! Always speak up if something is bothering you and try to talk things out with your partner instead of brushing it aside. Remember to respect each other and put in effort to consider each other’s feelings and opinions. Disagreements are inevitable in relationships so try to compromise and solve arguments in a rational way. Be supportive and encourage each other whenever you can, ensuring the relationship is one where both parties can grow!

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Just like we have yearly checkups to make sure that we’re healthy, relationships also need basic checkups every now and then. Here’s a basic checklist to see if your relationship has all the healthy components it needs

• Mutual respect: Does your partner listen when you say you're not comfortable doing something and then back off right away? Respect in a relationship means that each person values the other and understands- and would never challenge- the other person's boundaries.

• Trust: It's OK to get a little jealous sometimes- jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other.

• Honesty: This one goes hand-in-hand with trust because it's tough to trust someone when one of you isn't being honest. Catching your partner in a lie, whether big or small, will make it a lot harder to believe them the next time they tell you something.

• Support: It's not just in bad times that your partner should support you. Some people are great when your whole world is falling apart but not that interested in hearing about the good things in your life. In a healthy relationship, your significant other is there for both the good and bad!

• Fairness/equality: You need to have give-and-take in your relationship in order to maintain a fair balance. Things get bad really fast when a relationship turns into a power struggle, with one person fighting to get his or her way all the time.

• Separate identities: In a healthy relationship, everyone needs to make compromises. But that doesn't mean you should feel like you're losing out on being yourself. When you started going out, you both had your own lives (families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that shouldn't change. And you also should feel free to keep developing new talents or interests, making new friends, and moving forward.

• Good communication: Can you talk to each other and share feelings that are important to you? Does your partner give you time to think something through before you’re ready to talk about it?

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It’s important to continuously discuss boundaries in a relationship so that both parties can respect each other. Whether it be a hookup or a committed relationship, there is never a situation where consent is automatically given. Remember that everyone has agency over their own body and should be comfortable when interacting with others!

Always Ask… Are you comfortable? Is this okay? Do you want to go any further?

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(https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html)

Unhealthy Relationships

Unlike healthy relationships, unhealthy relationships are all about power and control. While the early stages of an abusive relationship may not seem too serious, both parties deserve to be respected at all times. There is no excuse for abusive behavior, and your safety should be the priority in any type of relationship.

Red Flags

• Possessiveness, insults, yelling, humiliation

• You feel pressured into doing things that you may not necessarily feel comfortable doing

• You oftentimes feel like your opinions are being disregarded

• When you say “no” to something you are often met with negative reactions

What to Do

• Focus on your own needs and welfare

• Connect with support systems around you. This includes friends, family, mentors, advocates, and anybody else that can provide emotional support

• Consider breaking up! Everyone deserves to feel safe in a relationship, and abuse can often get worse over time.

Remember that no matter how much you try to change your partner, if they’re not willing to put in the effort themselves there’s nothing you can do about it. All you can do is make changes in your own life.